They have become more personal to me now... On the day of Mom's surgery, my sister and I wore pink Tshirts with a pink bling blink ribbon on the left upper corner. It was a show of support for breast cancer. This has been a scary time, although my Mom has been most at peace with all of it. We were doing funeral planning the day before her surgery, how is that for reality of death in your face?! And then I was just pacing and going nutz while waiting during the surgery. She did well and the surgeon was very pleased with how she did, even though she was much larger than what he had really been prepared for... they did a double mastectomy and took several lymph nodes. We are praying for a clean pathology report when we go back on Thursday. Will you agree with us?
It has all happened so quickly, and we were thrust into the unknown world of cancer. It is very different from being sorry and sympathetic when other people have that diagnosis, and suddenly my sister and I are moved immediately into high risk ourselves. I have had about 3 mammograms, I think that's right, and all have been good so far. I am not so comfortable with my body that I like to do self-exams and I rely on my gynecologist to do those... I don't know. I cannot spend my life with worry, I already have too many other health things to deal with - osteoporosis, my migraines, my blood enzyme deficiency... if I ignore them, then I can pretend that I feel good and things will be okay. I am using my imagination, just like Mr. Rogers said to do all those years ago.
It's a good thing to help me smile through the days.
