Lightening Bugs...

I realize that some folks call them fireflies... but I was thinking about them recently. My cousins from Florida were here to visit, this is my cousin who is a year older than me and she has 10 kids and has/is homeschooling all of them... wow, right?! Anyway, they do not have lightening bugs where they live. It was a neat thing then, while at Dad's house, the lightening bugs came out and we were running around like silly kids trying to catch them.

They always signify summer to me, and lazy days of playing at dusk with the kids in my neighborhood - kick the can was always a popular night game. But summer days are longer and more relaxed, right? Supposed to be, anyway. And as an adult, I have lost that carefree feeling. Nothing seems simple or fun, everything is rigid, routine, demanding, stressful... and I am a Christian! What is wrong with me? No joy in simple things; everything is so hard, especially lately.

I just returned from our youth mission trip to Pennsylvania, and this group was awesome. The youth/college students were very unified, no drama really, the adults all worked together, the worship was great... and it was exhausting, but in a good way.

Now, I am back home, back to work, back to bills and back to medical appointments with my mom... and I feel physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted... I sometimes just SCREAM at the Lord, WHY IS LIFE SO HARD?!! What have I done? Don't I deserve a break sometime??? And then immediately, the Holy Spirit within me says, what about Jesus? What did He ever do except LOVE ME? and be OBEDIENT to His Father? You see.. I cannot even have a proper pity party, the Lord just won't allow it.

I know that God is at work all around me, around us, and yet, I sometimes just do not see it. Like I would not have noticed the lightening bugs at my Dad's that night, except that my cousins were LOOKING FOR THEM! If I do not look for God's work, then I am not going to see it. How convicting is that? But I am still so tired...

I am grateful beyond imagination for the Christian brothers and sisters who encourage me... things that are done, maybe just a smile, that will give me just enough energy to push on, and make that next step... even when I am so tired of life.

Take notice of the lightening bugs around your place, and thank God for His Work in your life, even when you are too busy to notice.