8 Rules for Dating My Daughter

When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a hand that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds.
Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter's suitors feel even worse. My motto: wilt them in the living room and they'll stay wilted all night.
"So," I'll call out jovially. "I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you're stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?"
As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to assure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place around your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.
Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process which can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her adam's apple. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Hockey games are okay.
My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these eight simple rules from memory. I'd be embarrassed too - there are only eight of them, for crying out loud! And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to one of these cretins that I'd have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn't remember them. (I checked into it and the cost is prohibitive.) I merely told him that I thought writing the rules on his arm with a ball point might be inadequate-ink washes off-and that my wood burning set was probably a better alternative.
One time, when my wife caught me having one of my daughter's would-be suitors practice pulling into the driveway, get out of the car, and go up to knock on the front door (he had violated rule number one, so I figured he needed to run through the drill a few dozen times) she asked me why I was being so hard on the boy. "Don't you remember being that age?" she challenged.
Of course I remember. Why do you think I came up with the eight simple rules?

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Sexuality

...or if you prefer... The Birds and the Bees
I was holding a notice from my 13-year-old son's school announcing a meeting to preview the new course in sexuality. Parents could examine the curriculum and take part in an actual lesson presented exactly as it would be given to the students. When I arrived at the school, I was surprised to discover only a few more than a dozen parents there. As we waited for the presentation, I thumbed through page after page of instructions in the prevention of pregnancy or disease. I found abstinence mentioned only in passing.
When the teacher arrived with the school nurse, she asked if there were any questions. I asked why abstinence did not play a noticeable part in the material. What happened next was shocking. There was a great deal of laughter, and someone suggested that if I thought abstinence had any merit, I should go back to burying my head in the sand. The teacher and the nurse said nothing as I drowned in a sea of embarrassment. My mind had gone blank, and I could think of nothing to say. The teacher explained to me that the job of the school was to "teach facts," and the home was responsible for moral training. I sat in silence for the next 20 minutes as the course was explained. The other parents seemed to give their unqualified support to the materials.
"Donuts, at the back," announced the teacher during the break. "I'd like you to put on the name tags we have prepared -- they're right by the donuts -- and mingle with the other parents."

Everyone moved to the back of the room. As I watched them affixing their name tags and shaking hands, I sat deep in thought. I was ashamed that I had not been able to persuade them to include a serious discussion of abstinence in the materials. I uttered a silent prayer for guidance. My thoughts were interrupted by the nurse's hand on my shoulder. "Won't you join the others, Mr. Layton?" The nurse smiled sweetly at me.

"The donuts are good." "Thank you, no." I replied. "Well, then, how about a name tag? I'm sure the others would like to meet you." "Somehow I doubt that." I replied. "Won't you please join them?" she coaxed. Then I heard a still, small voice whisper, "Don't go." The instruction was unmistakable. "Don't go!" "I'll just wait here," I said.

When the class was called back to order, the teacher looked around the long table and thanked everyone for putting on name tags. She ignored me. Then she said, "Now we're going to give you the same lesson we'll be giving your children. Everyone please peel off your name tags." I watched as the tags came off. "Now, then, on the back of one of the tags, I drew a tiny flower. Who has it, please?"

The gentleman across from me held it up. "Here it is!"

"All right," she said. "The flower represents disease. Do you recall with whom you shook hands?" He pointed to a couple of people. "Very good," she replied. "The handshake in this case represents intimacy. So the two people you had contact with now have the disease." There was laughter and joking among the parents. The teacher continued, "And whom did the two of you shake hands with?" There was a pause. The point was well taken, and she explained how this lesson would show students how quickly disease is spread. "Since we all shook hands, we all have the disease."

It was then that I heard the still, small voice again. "Speak now," it said, "but be humble." I noted wryly the latter admonition, then rose from my chair. I apologized for any upset I might have caused earlier, congratulated the teacher on an excellent lesson that would impress the youth, and concluded by saying I had only one small point I wished to make.

"Not all of us were infected." I said. "One of us... abstained."

Seasons of Relationships...

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason, you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (any way); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant Thank you for being a part of my life....

A Little About Me

I found this on one of my old website pages that I had put up for a scrapbooking challenge in 2006... wonder if they are all still true?! lol

A Little About Me

1. Jesus is Lord of my life and I try to live that out as best I can 2. My family is the next most important thing in my life 3. I am married to a wonderful husband 4. I am a SAHM of 5 5. I have lived in Tennessee all my life 6. I was born in the season of Summer 7. I have 1 sister 8. I am 5'4" 9. I have red hair with some "silver" :0) 10. I hate to cook 11. I love to read 12. Scrapbooking is a way of life for me because... 13. Photos and family history matter! 14. I love graphics and I love printing 15. I love Christian Music because it focuses me on Truth 16. Blue is my favorite color 17. Daisies are my favorite flowers 18. I collect Raggedy Ann 19. I'm a simple person but have been considered snobby because I'm extremely shy 20. Yes, I'm shy - really! 21. Also, I am usually very serious 22. I'm a morning person. 23. I'm very sentimental 24. I hate traffic because I'm usually in a hurry and most people drive like idiots. (Am I being judgemental here? ha!) 25. My favorite movie for now is "You've Got Mail" 26. I am a huge movie fan-If I could, I would probably sit and watch movies non-stop for a week, eating popcorn all the while, of course 27. I love divinity from Gatlinburg! 28. I am on our Women's Ministry team at my church 29. I am the Puppet Team leader at my church 30. I work with the Awana program at my church 31. I was a computer science major in college and started when they still taught card-punch! Ouch, my age is showing now!! 32. I took my first road trip with my cousin when I was a freshman in college 33. I hate to shop 34. I love to play on my computer 35. I would like to try being a hermit for a year 36. I believe that God is sovereign and that He has a purpose for my life 37. I am a terrible housekeeper and feel ashamed about it almost all the time 38. My sister and I suffer from HSD - Horizontal Surface Disease - if it's a flat surface, we have something piled on it, it's genetic!! 39. I love to get pajamas for Christmas and birthdays 40. I consider freshly laundered sheets one of my favorite luxuries! 41. I love the post office and mailing cards and letters 42. I despise banking service charges 43. I dislike getting dirt in my fingernails, but desire a beautiful garden - tough to reconcile, huh? 44. I have been a fan of Mary Engelbreit art since she first designed greeting cards in the 80's 45. I like Susan Branch artwork as well, because both of them use a lot of quotes in their drawings 46. When my beloved poodle died, I swore I would never get another pet... that's been 20 years now 47. I hate going to the doctor and having blood drawn 48. I love Christmas 49. I think everyone should know and sing the National Anthem 50. I appreciate YOU for visiting my website. ~ Thanks ~

Back to the 70's

I'm going back in time as I am preparing for a class reunion next year. I graduated in 1978, which means my formative teen years was during the 70's decade. Let's remember together... Mood rings, lava lamps, Rubik's cube, Sea Monkeys, smiley face stickers, string art, and pet rocks all captured the imagination of my classmates during the 70's. The wildest fad surely was streaking nude through very public places! Families vacationed in station wagons and everyone wanted an RV. Guys sported shoulder length hair and non-traditional "establishment" clothing became the rage, including bellbottom pants, hip huggers, colorful patches, hot pants, platform shoes, earth shoes, clogs, T-shirts, and gypsy dresses. Leisure suits for men became commonplace, and women were fashionable in everything from ankle-length grandmother dresses to hot pants and micro-miniskirts. The movie Annie Hall (1977) even inspired a fashion trend with women sporting traditional men's clothing such as derby hats, tweed jackets, and neckties worn with baggy pants or skirts. During the 1970's the United States underwent some profound changes. First a Vice President and then a President resigned under threat of impeachment. The Vietnam War continued to divide the country even after the Paris Peace Accords in January 1973 put an end to U.S. military participation in the war. Roe v. Wade legalized abortion. Crime increased despite Nixon's pledge to make law and order a top priority of his presidency. Increased immigration followed passage of the Immigration Act of 1965, which reformed an earlier policy that favored western Europeans. People from Third World countries came to this country in search of economic betterment or to escape political repression. Women, minorities, and gays increasingly demanded full legal equality and privileges in society. Women expanded their involvement in politics. The proportion of women in state legislatures tripled. Women surpassed men in college enrollment in 1979. However, the rising divorce rate left an increasing number of women as sole breadwinners and forced more and more of them into poverty. I'm also listening to 70's on my Sirius radio, and there's nothing like music to take you back to a time and place! By the 1970's, the term "rock & roll" had become nearly meaningless. This decade saw the breakup of the Beatles and the death of Elvis Presley (I was going in to work at Karmelkorn when I heard the news and everyone was stunned!, robbing rock of two major influences. Pop music splintered into a multitude of styles: soft rock, hard rock, country rock, folk rock, punk rock, shock rock -­ and the dance craze of the decade, disco! But whatever sub-genre(s) you preferred, rock music was big business. It was a crazy and great time to be alive, wasn't it? :) [read more here kclibrary.lonestar.edu/decade70.html]

Compassion

This post spoke to me. Having had an experience of being falsely accused of something and suffering a semi-public scolding, I will always remember the people who were loving and compassionate to me, who continued to uplift me in prayer. It was a hard time of my life and I went into a pretty deep depression, barely functioning for many months, but pretending when I was out in public (and not very well I might add), but eventually I was proven to be in right-standing and reinstated. The damage had been done to my emotions however. And I know that if I had practiced living more faithfully, my depression might have ended more quickly. As I grow older, I know that God has had to re-teach me things... things that in my stubbornness I have been so hard-headed about, but He patiently gives as many 'second chances' as we need. Thank God for Your mercy, never ending.

This post by Harvey Mackey, well known writer and speaker, reminded me of my personal experience; and also a former pastor, Tom Suiter, had told this story about the wolves. I just thought it was a powerful reminder of showing compassion to all.

ALL of us need compassion. We all have different trials and troubles, but the common thread is that we all have them.

Compassion A Native American grandfather was talking about how he felt to his grandson. “I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart,” he said. “One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one.”

The grandson asked him, “Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?”
The grandfather answered, “The one I feed.”

According to one definition, compassion is an emotion that is a sense of shared suffering, most often combined with a desire to alleviate the suffering of another and to show special kindness to them. Compassion essentially starts with empathy. Compassionate acts consider the suffering of others and attempt to alleviate it as if it were one’s own. In this sense, compassion is the cornerstone of the Golden Rule.

Where does compassion fit in business? Will it hurt the bottom line? Will it make our company look soft, like a pushover?

The answers: At all levels, no and definitely not. Compassion and profitability are not mutually exclusive. On the contrary, companies that are perceived as people-oriented and good corporate citizens have a far better chance of succeeding than those that put profits ahead of people.

When I was interviewing New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg for my book We Got Fired!…And It’s The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Us, the mayor told me that one thing he never forgot was the people who called him after he was fired by Salomon Brothers.

“I remember the exact list,” Bloomberg said. “If any of them end up in trouble, I’ll call them. If you see them on the way up, you should see them on the way down. Whenever someone gets fired or has some real problems, I always call to tell them my thoughts are with them. And if I can be of any help whatsoever, please let me know”

Michael Bloomberg is right about being there at the dark moments. I have always tried to call people when they were down, or to do what I could to help them get back on their feet and succeed. I believe compassion should be a vital part of our character.

There is a big difference between compassion and sympathy. Sympathy sees and says, “I’m sorry.” Compassion feels and declares, “I’ll help.” Compassionate people really care.

There are scientific studies suggesting there are physical benefits to practicing compassion. People who practiced compassion produced 100 percent more DHEA, a hormone that is though to counteract the aging process, and 23 percent less cortisol–the “stress” hormone.

When you’re happy, you make others m,ore happy. Why? Because compassionate people are more positive, plain and simple. Compassionate people radiate vibes that make the people around them happy to be where they are. And every skilled salesperson knows that a happier prospect is more receptive and more inclined to be a repeat customer.

Confucius said wisdom, compassion and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of a person. I’m not a big philosopher, but who could disagree with that?

Moral: Helping someone up won’t pull you down, and could very easily pull them to your side.

repost from Harvey Mackey -

harveymackay.com/compassion-uplifts-you-too/greywolf/

Welcome to Motherhood

Dear new mom,

The first thing you should know is that you are normal. Everything you are feeling is normal. Millions of women have been in your shoes and for some reason just don't ever talk about it.

It is OK to feel happy, elated, sad, weepy, angry, frustrated, exhausted, energetic and all that in a span of 10 minutes.

It is OK to question your choice to have a baby in the first place. Every mom has those moments. The whole "what have I gotten myself into"? feeling is normal. It's a HUGE change. YOU CAN DO THIS.

It is OK to have moments where you don't like that baby. It's true, hard to write and read but so very true. You are learning to take care of, and anticipate all the needs, wants and desires of a whole other person. On top of your own. It's only natural that you have moments of annoyance or anger towards the person who is demanding so much of you. That does not mean you love them less, it just means you are a human learning to do a HUGE task. It is OK to put that baby in the crib, crying or not and walk away until that anger passes. It will get better. It is OK TO TALK ABOUT THIS TO SOMEONE!!!!!

A crying baby will be fine. No baby is allergic to crying.

Please say OUTLOUD the ways that your husband can help you. Do not assume that he will magically read your mind. I bet he really WANTS to help you but he feels as lost as you. A simple kind suggestion to what you need or want done can go a long way to making everyone a little bit happier. Talk about how hard it is to be a parent!

You will feel like a crazy person. You have insane amounts of hormones literally raging through your body. You will literally, simultaneously say something that sounds like a deranged woman is talking WHILE hearing your inner voice yell "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING YOU CRAZY WOMAN?". Take a deep breath, say "I'm sorry" and move on. Don't beat yourself up over it. It will get better.

You will leak milk at the least appropriate times. You will probably expose yourself to a stranger at least once. Don't worry, you WILL get the hang of it. When it's all said and done you may end up with less cleavage than you started with. Sorry, it can be true.

If you are going to breastfeed please try for at least a month. I hear SO many people say "I tried for two weeks and quit"...it gets SO MUCH EASIER after two weeks. It really, really does. Your body needs at least that long to adjust to this strange new thing that you are doing.

Your hair will fall out. Not all of it but a lot of it. All the hair that you didn't shed while pregnant. Pony tails help.

Your bladder will never be the same. Go when you need to, don't wait.

Mylicon is a lifesaver. There are a million uses for plain cloth diapers that don't involve using them as diapers. When trying to decide what you NEED for a baby think about life on the prairie and how little they needed and had then. A bed, some clothes, some bottles/boobs and diapers are all a baby needs. Don't give into pressure to buy it all.

Attending to things other than baby does not equal neglect (like taking a shower or eating or washing a dish). It is also OK to skip all those for a nap. Take a nap when you can. Sleep changes everything. EVERYTHING. If you nurse in bed, do it knowing that you will probably fall asleep...adjust baby accordingly.

Your baby will probably fall off the bed. At least once. You may also drive without having them buckled in the bucket carseat (unintentionally), baby talk to your husband and your once amazing memory will start its exit routine.

You will regularly have in depth conversations about poop. When, where, how much, texture, color...all of it. And it won't feel weird until you do it in front of non-kid having people.

You will be pooped on, puked on, spit-up on and drooled on. Oxiclean will take care of most of it.

Don't ever thank God that the baby is finally asleep.
Somehow that is code for "please make him cry right now!".

Middle of the night bargaining never works.

Never say anything that starts with "My kid will never...".

Most of all, I want you to know that you can do this. God chose YOU to be the mother of HIS sweet precious baby. You were handpicked by the creator of the universe to have your own little disciple to minister to. Admit when you have made a mistake, ask for forgiveness from God and that baby and keep trucking on. You are stronger than you know and before you know it these days will be in the distant past.

Find someone to talk to.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

Love,
Been there and done that.

What do you think moms? Did I leave anything out that you wish you knew when you were first a mom?


{credits to www.littlebitfunky.com/search/label/mom%20stuff}

Get a Job, Sha-na-na-na-na...

Remember that old song?
It was sung by The Silhouettes in 1957, before my time but I'd say everyone has heard it.

Anyway, I read a blog this morning that touched a nerve.
I was thinking about how tired I have gotten of listening to people say they can't find a job ANYWHERE, they can't get a job or find the right job, and yet they need income, and they have expenses, so...

Are you really serious about needing money?
Nothing wrong with fast food - I actually learned a lot working at my first job, which was Karmelkorn in our local mall.
McDonald's may not be your career choice, but please!

So ---
I am turning over my blog post today to republish a post from ScLoHo's Collective Wisdom .com


Everyone has to start somewhere
By Harvey Mackay

Comedian Jim Carrey took a job as a janitor at a tire factory at age 15 when his father lost his job. He also worked as a security guard. To relieve his stress, he visited local comedy clubs, which instilled his love of comedy -- and prepared him for a blockbuster career.

Everyone has to start somewhere. Like Jim Carrey, I started by pushing a broom at an envelope manufacturing company and worked my way into sales in six months. My career path took a different turn, but all in all, I'd say my humble start led to a life I love.

You never know where your career will go once you get your foot in the door and learn about different businesses.

Many famous people started out very small before they hit it big. The main thing is they started and got experience. Pride didn't get in the way -- they had to pay the rent, eat and work toward their ultimate goals. Consider these examples.

Before Brad Pitt was a leading man in the movies, he worked various odd jobs, including driving limos, moving refrigerators and dressing up as a giant chicken to attract customers to a local restaurant.

Another one-time janitor is Stephen King. He job was cleaning a girls' locker room, which later became his inspiration for his best-selling novel "Carrie."

Cooking show hostess Rachael Ray started out working at the candy counter at Macy's in New York City. She later managed the fresh-foods department, which helped pave the way to her sizzling cooking career.

Donald Trump collected soda bottles for the deposit money and later went around with rent collectors to learn about that business. Do you suppose that's where he got the idea for The Apprentice?

David Letterman, Diane Sawyer, Raquel Welch and George Carlin were all weather people on TV.

Michael Dell, founder and CEO of Dell computers, and personal-finance guru Suzie Orman, washed dishes at restaurants.

The late George Steinbrenner, who later owned the New York Yankees among other businesses, helped his older siblings raise the family's chickens, which he would also kill and dress for customers.

Working at ice cream shops is part of the resumes for Julia Roberts, Lucille Ball and Robin Williams, who also was a street mime before he got into acting.

And I'd wager that every one of these fabulously successful people would tell you that they still remember the lessons they learned from those early labors -- even if one of those lessons was that they wanted more out of life.

Few people would describe their first jobs as their dream jobs. The work is usually hard, the pay is never enough, and the hours are lousy. The experience, however, is invaluable.

As college graduates start to learn the realities of the business world, I tell them that they will have to pay their dues. There is no substitute for real-world experience. Hard work is still a requirement for success. You can't start at the top and work your way up.

In this economy, I'm frequently hearing stories about folks who are starting over in their careers due to downsizing, restructuring, technology or belly-up businesses. Most don't have to start at the bottom, but they aren't making lateral moves either.

My advice is always the same whether you are starting up or starting over: Keep your options open. Don't discount the value of any working experience. Expand your network at every opportunity, because you never know who might know someone who could use your talents and skills. Volunteer some time to get more and varied experience. Make sure you have a presence on social networking sites, especially LinkedIn and Facebook.

Perhaps the most important tip I can pass along is this: Never be afraid to ask for help. There are plenty of people who have created successful businesses, and even more who have built successful careers. Learning from others is essential, no matter how much you have learned from your own experience.

Finally, don't be afraid to dream. Long before Mickey Mouse, Walt Disney dropped out of school at age 16 to join the Army, but was rejected because of his age. He became a Red Cross ambulance driver in World War I instead. He wanted to be an artist when he came home, and with determination, an entertainment empire was born. For Walt Disney, "a dream is a wish your heart makes."

Mackay's Moral: You can't win the race if you never start.

Starting New Habits and Saving Money

Well... it seems peer pressure has been in full swing at my church on Hill Road! Almost everyone and their brother are posting on facebook and chatting in the aisles about their running, their fitness training, their P90X workouts, their new Zumba classes... it's hard to be a couch potato these days!

So ~ I've been trying to start new healthier habits. Why oh why is that so difficult?

I'm in my last week of the No Boundaries program (sponsored by our local Fleet Feet store) and it has been a short (sometimes grueling!) time of learning about running and trying to get into shape for a 5K, although I did not start this in order to do a 5K. I have actually walked the Susan G. Komen 5K race each year in Kingsport since Mom's cancer diagnosis. For those of you interested in numbers, it takes me an hour to walk the 3.1 miles.

For me, the program was to be a kick-start to doing regular, weekly activity. I felt like I needed the accountability, someone who would miss me when I missed, and perhaps some helpful information to get me on the right track. I needed a healthy choice that I can maintain in order to combat the osteoporosis that I have since suffering from early menopause at the age 36.

But another phenomenon was going on at my church about the same time all this healthy stuff was happening: the crazy coupon addiction!

Ladies at church talking about the best deals, their great savings, and even posting pictures of their treasures. While I love a good deal and I don't mind using coupons for items that I actually use, I much prefer freebies and giveaways!

I was the dorky kid who always filled out the mail-in forms and sent $1 shipping to the cereal company for whatever cool item was being advertised. I place the blame squarely on my Mamaw Ketron's shoulders because she was forever mailing things out and getting things in. It was like Christmas every day in her mailbox!

That is why I love this site - The Giveaway Scout www.giveawayscout.com/.
It searches the world wide web and looks through blogs to find what the coolest giveaway is! Now isn't that something? Take a peek - and I've added their widget to my blog to make it easy for you.

If we would each take advantage of all our resources, think of what an impact we could make by sharing the surplus with those in our community who are in need. Because one healthy choice can lead to another!

By the way, here's a neat coupon/deal site to help in your quest to save money - Southern Savers www.southernsavers.com/ and here's a fitness teacher that can get your too comfy tushy up and moving - archerfitness.blogspot.com/2011/05/group-fitness-isnt-limited-to-classroom.html - May we all continue or renew our New Year's resolution to get healthy with our money and our bodies as we start the summer season!

Lies and Truth... Love Conquers All

So, I've been on an emotional roller coaster this week... actually it's been since last Mother's Day... some of you know the details. I'm exhausted right now. And I was driving home from a road trip Saturday when this Toby Mac song came on the radio. I had one of those "ah-ha" moments, realizing that too many decisions in my life have been based on fear; fear and disbelief.

Not really believing that I was loved or good enough. Because of a stupid perfectionist personality, knowing that I was trying my best, and still failing... so therefore I was most assuredly not worthy of love from anyone.

And is this why someone becomes self-destructive? rebellious? wallows in sin? because you wrongly believe you can't do better? or make a change? you're beyond hope?

Sometimes I'm strong, and I can see the schemes of the devil, and I can discern the lies from truth.
And sometimes I'm not.
I have conversations with myself, my weak flesh, and my tormented memories of bad decisions... and then I'm stuck down there in the muck and mud, defeated and depressed.

It's one thing when it's me. It's another thing when it's my child.
And my heart just continues to be broken. I think I've cried it all out. I think I've turned it all over. And then out of no where, I feel the pain and the tears just start to pour out of me again.

How long do we wait Oh Lord? And why do we have to wait?
I become an impatient 2-year-old so quickly in this pain.

And then the quietness of the Holy Spirit comes into my mind, a scripture verse (“Cast your burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain you..." Psalms 55:22) or the words to a Toby Mac song:

You turned away when I looked you in the eye,
And hesitated when I asked if you were alright,
Seems like you're fighting for your life,
But why? oh why?
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare,
You saw it comin' but it hit you outta no where,
And theres always scars
When you fall that far

We lose our way,
We get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again,
One day you gonna shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,

You rolled out at the dawning of the day
Heart racin' as you made you little get away,
It feels like you've been runnin' all your life
But, why? Oh why?

So you've pulled away from the love that wou'd've been there,
You start believin' that your situation's unfair

But there's always scars,
When you fall that far

We lose our way,
We get back up again
Never too late to get back up again,
One day, you gonna shine again,
You may be knocked down but not out forever,

This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken,
This is love callin'.
This is love callin', love callin',
I am so broken
This is love callin' love callin



God, please let me be confident in Your Love and let me rest in You.
Thanks to Toby Mac for the song, and thanks to God for the reminder. <3

Success

Willie II's great -grandfather, Cornelius Vanderbilt, was in the first grade the year George Washington died. Five years later, Cornelius quit school at age eleven and set out to make his mark on the world.

When he was sixteen, Cornelius Vanderbilt borrowed his mother's life savings to buy a little sailboat to haul passengers and freight between Staten Island and New York City. Hungry, focused, and efficient, Vanderbilt quickly dominated the business and broke his competitors. His little boating enterprise became known as the Staten Island Ferry. By the time he was forty, his ships were hauling passengers and freight to ports all along the Atlantic coast, earning him the nickname "Commodore."

Since passengers and freight were the Commodore's business, it was only natural that he would buy up struggling railroads and turn them around. The difference between Vanderbilt and his predecessors was that his trains ran on schedule and the service was excellent. His New York Central Railroad quickly grew to become the nation's largest enterprise. During the Panic of 1873, Vanderbilt gave jobs to thousands by ordering the construction of Grand Central Station in NYC.

Cornelius Vanderbilt offered better service and lower prices than his competitors, but these are not the things that made him wealthy. The characteristics that made him one of the richest men in the world were best described by a friend:

The largest employer of labor in the United States, he despised all routine office work; kept his figures in a vest-pocket book; ate sparingly; never speculated in stocks; never refused to see a caller; rose early; read Pilgrim's Progress every year; and, for diversion, played whist and drove his trotters whenever he could.

Cornelius Vanderbilt did not offer better service and lower prices so that he might become rich. He became rich because he loved hauling passengers and freight, and because he did it very, very well.

Why do you do what you do? Is it for the money alone, or is it because you love to do it well? Wealth is not a destination, not a sparkling city on a hill. Wealth is simply a by-product of passion. You will become truly rich only when you learn to love what it is you do.


"Success is a journey, not a destination." - Ben Sweetland

My name is Sandy and I'm a Salt Addict

I am adamantly opposed to making New Year's resolutions in January, as I think they are a set up for failure. Why can't we adopt September as our time for a 'new start' - each fall at the beginning of every school year, we would get a clean slate. I always loved that - new composition books, new notebook, new pencils... ah, my love affair with supplies must have started in the fall of my childhood. But that's another topic.

Everywhere you turn in January, someone somewhere is expounding on how to live better. I am all for living better, at least in theory. But when it gets too personal, I feel those strong rebellious urges rising up inside me.

The most recent item to slap me down was this article about SALT in the Jan issue of Prevention Magazine. Did you see it? I briefly saw it as a headline on the cover, and decided that I would not read that article. After all, I love salt. It is my only seasoning because of my genetic health problem. Remember, I'm an old person, and back when I was a baby, there were not any options for a no-fat diet. My mom taught me to just "do without" flavorings - which has served me well, I thought. But the other night, I was making divinity to feed my sugar addiction, and since I usually have something to read during the 7 minutes I'm cooking over the double boiler... and because I read all articles consecutively when I open a magazine (OCD, I know), well, you know it was bound to happen because I quickly came to page 18, the Salt piece!

TRUE OR FALSE
Salt (a) is addictive (b) will make you fat (c) will kill you (d) all of the above

Sadly, the correct answer is d.
But the most intriguing part of the article spoke to the addictiveness of salt.
Can you believe it?
Consuming salt triggers the release of dopamine in your body, which is the neurotransmitter associated with the brain's Pleasure Center! Wow!

There is some small hope for me. The article goes on to say that we have about 10,000 tastebuds, each one has 50 to 150 receptor cells that live for 1 to 2 weeks -- which means that if you eat a lower salt diet for a couple of weeks, you can re-train your new receptors thus making the lower salt diet more pleasure-able for you.

Let's face it. We're all going to die of something. Of course, no one wants to live and feel bad all the time either...


Best wishes on your quest to improve your life. We're all in it together, right?
Oh, here's the article link online if you want to read for yourself - or maybe you prefer the path of denial? lol

http://www.prevention.com/health/health/health-concerns/how-to-kick-the-salt-habit/article/3bd0b810e847c210VgnVCM10000030281eac____

Reacting to Criticism

This is such an excellent article, I had to post it. I've been both the giver of and receiver of criticism... neither is a good position to be in, but it's part of life.

I hope God will share something helpful through this post.

...by Doug Fields and Matt McGill (from youthministry.com)

Both of us have received a lot of criticism in ministry over the years. I (Doug) have been criticized more than Matt but that's only because I'm a lot older and being doing ministry a lot longer. We often laugh with one another at how different we are in our response/reaction to criticism. I (Doug) would prefer to avoid and hope the noise goes away. While, I (Matt) would prefer to fight and prove that I'm right.

By nature, I (Matt) am passionate and care deeply. I'm also very opinionated and vocal. Everyone in the room knows how I feel and what I'm thinking. If there were the spiritual gift of CRUSADER, I'd have it.

Good things come from the way God wired me: I'm committed, work hard, and communicate clearly. I wish that when it came to criticism I could reflect these same qualities (and, quite frankly, so does Doug)! So, when I'm criticized, I'm quick to react (too quick to react)… and it's not pretty. I will argue about a conviction that borders on being condescending. My tone communicates that the person who criticized me is an idiot (i.e. "You really disagree? You've actually engaged your brain for a second and that's what you've come up with? Really?")

Doug is constantly telling me, "Matt, you have to pick your hills to die on." I say, "I pick them all because I'm not the one who dies." Doug sighs at my foolishness and I continue to make a commitment to change.

Here's what we know to be true for both of us: criticism hurts, but the pain is multiplied when we handle it poorly. We talked about some truths that we've both learned over the years when we react to criticism too quickly instead of responding with wisdom--here's what we've learned:

We miss out on gaining a new perspective that could be helpful.
Impulsiveness is the enemy of understanding. Quick reactions cut corners on listening to others' point of view. Because the criticism brings pain, a quick response that is intended to numb our pain becomes more important than learning something about ourselves. While there may be truth behind the sting… it's unheard when we quickly react.

We prolong the pain.
When we react to the pain, it may feel good in the moment, but it usually delays the healing process. A quick, over-reaction keeps us from asking, "God, even though this hurts, what might you have for me in this situation?"

We miss an opportunity for influence.
If a critic isn't heard by you, he/she probably won't listen to your reaction either (although, let's be honest, even when a critic is heard they still may not listen). Quick reactions drastically reduce your chance to influence the critic. On the other hand, when you take the time to listen and respond with wisdom, you might be able to squeeze some truth and influence a critic's heart.

We loose credibility.
Just about every church is a fertile garden for gossip. The church environment somehow empowers the critic to more freely squawk to those who will listen (and there's always someone in the congregation willing to listen). When critics are ignored or hurt by a angry reaction, fuel is added to the fire, and you can guarantee the critic will become louder and find new listeners to poison.

We miss direct feedback.
If you get a reputation for being someone who reacts to criticism (as opposed to carefully respond) chances are high that people in your ministry will distant their opinions from you. The problem with their fearful silence is that every leader must get feedback from others to lead well. Reacting to criticism will cut you off from this necessary leadership resource. Honest feedback is what keeps us from becoming the Emperor with No Clothes.

Boundless Summer Challenge

I have spent one month of summer doing the same old things that I usually do... work, eat, sleep, read a little, computer, tv, errands, doctor appointments, church each week... you know, the same routine and rut that each of us seem to fall into.

Why is that? I mean, there's nothing wrong with the things of our routine, is there?
Especially for me.
I mean, I like the "same old same old" and I like to know what to expect. I am not a surprise kinda girl.

However

When I want to get a deeper relationship with Someone, do I expect that to just fall into my lap?

I guess I do... judging from my actions.

Sad.

And so, my Florida cousin is participating in this challenge and I thought it seemed interesting, difficult, powerful ~ and I think I will give it a try.

Take a look here and see if you are interested in the event.
Let's do something different for this month of July. You can join in with me.

http://www.boundlessline.org/2010/07/boundless-summer-challenge-task-1.html

Let's go deeper!

Complaints & Customer Service

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a pretty high level of expectation when it comes to customer service. This is not from an arrogant "I deserve it" point of view, but more from the Golden Rule of "treat others the way you want to be treated" view.

I have worked in closed office environments and also in retail. While in retail, I have had the experience of receiving customer complaints (sometimes on the verge of abusive) but I have also had the opportunity to help resolve complaints.

I recently read about this issue in a book titled "A Complaint is a Gift: Recovering Customer Loyalty When Things Go Wrong" by Janelle Barlow and Claus Moller.

Quoting the book, "In simplest terms, complaints are statements about expectations that have not been met." And this is true. But they also point out that complaints are opportunities for an organization to reconnect with customers by fixing a service or product breakdown. Customers usually have a "deeper level" need than the surface complaint. If a customer complains about having to wait on hold for 3 hours for help setting up their expensive computer, the deeper issue might be that they made a stupid purchasing decision. They call their insurance for a simple question and the call is not returned for days; at a deeper level, they are warning their agent that they are open for a new policy at renewal time.

It is a universal truth - most customers do not complain, they simply choose to take their business elsewhere.

We should all be grateful when someone has enough assertiveness to tell us the truth, and to share their perspective with us. After all, we live in a world full of people and we are surrounded by opportunities to interact and have relationships.

Let's use each opportunity wisely!

Colonoscopy Time

Well, a long time ago, I began trying to mentally prepare myself for this... My husband had a co-worker who died of colon cancer several years back. He was a young man, a very athletic outdoorsy type of man, and not the type of person who would expect to die of such a horrible disease in the absolute prime of life. And so I knew that I would get this test done and that I would willingly put myself through the preparation - which as you know, EVERYONE says is the worst part. My doctor also is doing an endoscopy... his reason was to look for anything abnormal that would make my iron levels low, which seems to be chronic with me. As long as I'm going to be "out of it", I guess it makes no difference to me.

I met Dr. Shone when I was in the hospital in December and simply because of his kindness and straight-forward talk (in an accent that is so pleasant!), I decided that I should go to him for this test. I am a little short of the 50yo mark, but thought that I had been dreading it quite long enough, so why not go ahead and do it - while we still have health insurance.

I saw him about 10 days ago, and the most surprising thing is that they were able to get me scheduled so quickly! I was secretly hoping to delay it a month, but that was not to be.

The nurse came in to go over instructions, she talked so fast about all of it, I could not keep up. Then when I read over the list again Sunday, I discovered that I should not have been taking my iron pills for several days. Hopefully this is not a big deal.

I had to drink some nasty stuff in December for an MRI of my upper gastro area, and that was torture. My oldest daughter happened to be visiting me at the time, and if not for her encouraging cheerleading, I don't think I would have gotten it down. So I have to say that I am dreading the drinking even more than the expelling part. (Of course, this is in my mind right now, as I have not yet started my bathroom trips.)

My last meal was cottage cheese and tomato, my favorite comfort food, and it's 11:25am right now, so I have not had anything by mouth so far today.

I did go to Blockbuster and rented 4 movies. I am planning to sit and watch one while I gulp down my lovely HalfLytely concoction... even though my internet searching today has given me information that there is a pill that is possible to take INSTEAD of drinking the nasty, so I'm mad at myself for not researching better in advance.

I will just be so glad to have it over and done. I'm sure you have your own stories and testimony to share. Let's be thankful for tests, early detection, and being healthy. Recent research says that 1 in 7 people over age 50 will live to be 100 years old, so we owe it to ourselves to be as healthy as possible when we get there!

Blood-Gathering is not just for Vampires!

With all the hoopla surrounding the Twilight series, and all things Vampire-ish... I find it ironic that getting blood from folks is actually so difficult!

I have just been released from a 9-day stint in one of our local hospitals. It was not life-threatening, although I guess it could have been... but I was suffering from pancreatitis - which is caused by (for me) a rare genetic enzyme disorder called hyperlipoprotenemia type I. (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/dispomim.cgi?id=238600)

It can be quite painful and the treatment is simply no food and morphine for pain.

The no food thing can be tricky.

So when you go in, you are immediately hooked up to an IV with glucose solution... I was in pain and offered the ER folks my left arm, which has been my "lucky" arm for blood-getting most of my adult life.

BUT

that meant I only had my right arm to offer the phlebotomists at the hospital.
Phlebotomist is a strange name, isn't it? According to the dictionary: A phlebotomist is an individual trained to draw blood, either for laboratory tests or for blood donations.

I am no stranger to needles. I was a research patient at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD for a big part of my childhood - Mom took me up there for months at a time; when I was school-age, that's where my summers were spent. Then when I turned 12, I was given over to NIH (National Instititues of Health) in Bethesda, MD. At John Hopkins, I was subjected to a lot of different testing procedures, liver biopsy is the only one I can tell you here - I have happily blocked out most of my life during those elementary years. What is consistent in my memory is the constant need they had for my blood.

I optimistically thought that as I became an adult, this would become easier for me. What happened is that I have almost developed a phobia about it.

Some of my college friends will recall that Spring Break of my freshman year was spent in the ER and hospital... a result of my going crazy, whether rebellion or disbelief that I was really sick (?) - who knows - but I took my freshman quarter to eat out and eat whatever I liked, even went to a few frat parties... all of these things were damaging to my pancreas and increased my triglycerides level to 3200. Thus, a major attack, and that is when I met my wonderful physician who has cared for me so diligently over these past 30 years. After I was released, I naturally vowed that I would stay closely on my diet and watch everything that I ate. Oh how quickly we forget. I was hospitalized 2 other times with pancreatitis, once during my 3rd pregnancy. And so this was my 4th time - it's been 18 years since the previous time. I have been lax though. It gets tiring to always eat differently and to have to explain it to other people.

But if you came to read this post just for BLOOD, then I need to get to that part:
The lab folks came to my room each morning about 6:00 a.m. to take my blood. They turn the bright lights on. They set their little toolbox down on my bed. They greet you happily, a little too eager to do their job if you ask me. Then they pull out their rubber string to tie off your circulation. And then they start to flick your arm with their finger. Hard. And then they study, and sigh, and then they move the rubber string down to my wrist. My hand is going numb. They flick more. And then they rub the hand with alcohol, it's cold. And they say, "Okay. It's gonna be a big stick." Ouch!! It is. And then say, "Has anyone ever told you that you have tough veins?" or perhaps they say, "That one blew. Have to do it again."

The Wednesday lady said that something was wrong with the vacuum on the tube, let her try a new one, and then that tube did not work, and finally she ended up SCOOPING the blood that was dripping out of the hole she made in my hand! I was so angry and upset!!


I mean, seriously! What is wrong with these people?

After enduring the lab folks on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I had enough! I rebelled. I told my night nurse on Wed. night that I did not want them coming in for me. She assured me that she would stop them. She did - but she left at 7a.m. - and at 8:30, 2 more lab people came in, turned on the bright light, I jumped to alert when he said, "Can we get your blood?" and I said, "No you cannot!". He said okay and they slammed the door on the way out.

Thursday was a bad morning. When the doctor on call came in, I was a basket-case and told him that I wanted to go home, the lab people did not know how to do their job, and I was tired of them practicing on me. He says, they do know how to do their job -- well, technically, if their job is getting blood - then yes - but really (!) - do they have to get their training on my poor weak little arms?

So - poor Hospitalist got a crazy patient who became non-compliant very quickly. I was written up in the chart, 'ornery' is what the gastroentologist said.

My last 3 days were no-lab days, except I stayed on the IV through Saturday, and kept that needle in my arm until Sunday.

Did I say how much I HATE needles?

Are you the Carrot, Egg or Coffee?

Something to think about...

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; she was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl.
She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.
The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this:
Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Oh that we would all be coffee!

Are You a Masterpiece?

Don't we all do this?
Complaining?
Arguing with God?
Believing the lies?

Copy this url into your address bar - you need to see this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXut0HxncvY

35 Reasons Not To Sin

1. Because a little sin leads to more sin.
2. Because my sin invites the discipline of God.
3. Because the time spent in sin is forever wasted.
4. Because my sin never pleases but always grieves God who loves me.
5. Because my sin places a greater burden on my spiritual leaders.
6. Because in time my sin always brings heaviness to my heart.
7. Because I am doing what I do not have to do.
8. Because my sin always makes me less than what I could be.
9. Because others, including my family, suffer consequences due to my sin.
10. Because my sin saddens the godly.
11. Because my sin makes the enemies of God rejoice.
12. Because sin deceives me into believing I have gained when in reality I have lost.
13. Because sin may keep me from qualifying for spiritual leadership.
14. Because the supposed benefits of my sin will never outweigh the consequences of disobedience.
15. Because repenting of my sin is such a painful process, yet I must repent.
16. Because sin is a very brief pleasure for an eternal loss.
17. Because my sin may influence others to sin.
18. Because my sin may keep others from knowing Christ.
19. Because sin makes light of the cross, upon which Christ died for the very purpose of taking away my sin.
20. Because it is impossible to sin and follow the Spirit at the same time.
21. Because God chooses not to respect the prayers of those who cherish their sin.
22. Because sin steals my reputation and robs me of my testimony.
23. Because others once more earnest than I have been destroyed by just such sins.
24. Because the inhabitants of heaven and hell would all testify to the foolishness of this sin.
25. Because sin and guilt may harm both mind and body.
26. Because sins mixed with service make the things of God tasteless.
27. Because suffering for sin has no joy or reward, though suffering for righteousness has both.
28. Because my sin is adultery with the world.
29. Because, though forgiven, I will review this very sin at the Judgment Seat where loss and gain of eternal rewards are applied.
30. Because I can never really know ahead of time just how severe the discipline for my sin might be.
31. Because my sin may be an indication of a lost condition.
32. Because to sin is not to love Christ.
33. Because my unwillingness to reject this sin now grants it an authority over me greater than I wish to believe.
34. Because sin glorifies God only in His judgment of it and His turning of it to good use, never because it is worth anything on it's own.
35. Because I promised God he would be Lord of my life.

Relinquish Your Rights - Reject the Sin - Renew the Mind - Rely on God


**WOW ~ #3 is very gripping, isn't it? And #35... remember back when you first gave your heart, your life to the Lord?
Think about these, deny your flesh, be strong and make a good decision.



Copyright © 1992 Jim Elliff
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